How to break up with him nicely – 8 tips for a soft landing

The sooner he realizes your relationship is over, the sooner he can move on with his life.

1. Do it in person.
Rule no. 1 of a gentle breakup: Don’t resort to emails, phone messages and other lame ways to break up with someone. Whatever your reasons for breaking up with him, find the courage to do it in person. You owe it to him and to yourself, you don’t want to be that girl who breaks up with a guy via email.

2. Rehearse your speech.
Think of what you are going to say and find a gentle way to break the news to him. Prepare your speech and don’t let him interrupt you until you’ve said everything you had to say.

3. Don’t give him false hopes.
A gentle breakup shouldn’t leave room for false hopes. Making it crystal clear that there is no hope for you to ever get back together might seem cruel, but it’s actually the kindest thing you can do. The sooner he realizes your relationship is over, the sooner he can move on with his life.

4. Don’t let him be the last to know.
You may feel tempted to talk things over with a friend before working up the courage to break up with your boyfriend, but make sure it’s someone you can trust. The more people you tell about it, the higher the odds that he should find out from someone else, which would add insult to injury.

5. Don’t make up excuses.
A gentle break up doesn’t mean you have to make up excuses or resort to that age-old cliché “It’s not me, it’s you”. Honesty is always the best policy. If you feel telling him the real reason why you want out of that relationship might be too hurtful for him, tell him something a bit more abstract, something like “I simply don’t feel this is going to work”.

6. Keep it short and painless.
A golden rule for a clean and gentle break up: keep it short. Don’t give him a long litany of reasons why you want to end this. Stick to the main things. Keeping it short will also ensure you keep your cool.

7. Don’t fuel the drama.
Not everyone reacts well to a break up. Some people may get verbally abusive when their feelings have been hurt. Don’t engage in a verbal battle with him, keep quiet and let him vent. Don’t fuel the drama by trying to defend yourself.

8. Friends?
Don’t say you want the two of you to stay friends unless you really mean it.

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